The goals and the problem
The Goal: I’ve wanted to draw and illustrate for a very long time. I want to draw/paint using the traditional mediums of pencil, charcoal, pastels, watercolour and do the same thing but digitally.
I want to draw my own assets for my day job rather than find stock images online. Over the medium and long term, I want to be able to illustrate any stories that I write and draw cartoons. I also want to have something to do on holiday, when the surf is flat, on planes and trains. Finally, this will be the main retirement hobby for when that eventually happens!
I do not have any ambitions to be a full-time paid illustrator.
The Problem: I’ve never been able to sustain a drawing habit. I’ve done classes but they never pushed to keep going. Lockdown should have been a great opportunity but I never quite managed to build any sort of momentum.
So, I’ve asked myself the key question – was I just ignoring the signs that deep down I don’t actually want to do this?
Do I want to draw?
The answer is yes, yes I do (imagine no pause for effect). But that leads to the more difficult question – why haven’t I done it then?
To find answers, I had to be brutally honest with myself as it’s important to find the cause which then leads to the fixes.
For drawing, I think I’ve identified two key obstacles to fix in order to build a new habit and be motivated. These are not the only reasons (there are so many others such as unhealthy lockdown living, worklife, distractions such as social media and streaming) but those require a different more holistic plan to fix.
Reason 1 - Being a beginner
Being a beginner sucks. At anything. When you have to learn every little thing, no automatisms or muscle memory, it is draining; lacking the technical skills to properly express yourself is frustrating. Learning a language as an adult taught me that.
Reason 2 - The goal, targets and expectations
Often we tend to focus on the end goal, realise how away it and that can be inhibiting. This can lead to perfectionism where one keeps feeling “this is not quite ready”. Unrealistic target setting is basically setting oneself up to fail and a huge demotivator: you never come away with a sense of accomplishment.
Reason 3 - Decision making
Deciding what to draw and have enough to draw is just a barrier to picking up pencil and just doing anything. Watching way too many youtube videos with perfectly curated sketchbooks is also very inhibiting for when you have a blank page.
The fixes
Once I identified the above, I started to formulate a plan, a “do-or-die” plan to take away those in order to build a new habit, re-learn and learn new skills but above all to be motivated. The Learn Avec Moi is the product of that plan.
Long term goal and target setting
In order to achieve any long-term goal or aim, you just need to take one step at a time: there is no quick fix. This idea was demonstrated to super-human levels in the documentary “Touching the Void” which is worth remembering every time one thinks about how long the road is ahead.
Borrowing from a career as a lawyer, work and pressure such as deadlines are fantastic at pushing you to set realistic targets: there is no way you are going to promise to deliver something the next day if you know it is a 20-hour piece of work. But when you are doing a personal project with no outside pressures then targets are much harder to set as you tend to be ridiculously ambitious and unrealistic.
Now when I set the targets, they are going to be limited in terms of ambition and volume – have one focus only. There may occasionally be some ancillary targets, for example, the first target is about drawing every day and learning faces is the ancillary target.
Perfectionism
The fix for perfectionism is just to bypass it ie forced publication of everything – the good, the bad, the ugly with no filtering. Time and boredom should bring a natural end to any piece of work and I think once the very bad pieces are up there, then that should kill the inhibiting effect of perfectionism.
Being a beginner - the ugly phase
I’ve no choice but to embrace being a beginner and accept my place in the learning pathway with the simple truth: it is ok and not the end of the world.
The Ugly Phase in drawing is just that period of time between when you start learning and when you get to the technical level to execute what you see in your mind’s eye. Ideally I would like this period to be as short as possible (who doesn’t?) but if it’s a long time, then it is a long time: I am not in a race.
The fix for this is a combination of forced openness of sharing my ugly drawings and acceptance of being a beginner.
Accountability
The key effect of putting my learning pathway online is that I am basically making the internet my accountability partner.
There is good science stuff out there to say that you are more likely to succeed in any stated desire if you are accountable to somebody for that success and failure. Whether the internet is a good partner or not, we shall have to wait and see!
Profundity and Motivation
I like writing – I keep a journal, it is a good way to “talk” through things, organise thoughts which then leads to clarity especially when faced with choices. It can be and has been a good sounding board.
Having to explain ideas to others is also a well-established way of checking you understand that idea and teaching it is a good way of learning it more profoundly.
Initially I decided in the summer of 2021 that I wasn’t going to share my learning pathway via the internet and was just going to use the time to draw. Subsequently I did very little drawing – there was no pressure on me.
However, when I changed my mind and decided to share via Learn Avec Moi, keep a proper record of what I was doing, it motivated me immensely. I think this will really come into its own when I begin the digital drawing pathway.
The elephant - books, classes and courses
Over the years I’ve bought many books but not once have I ever followed any of them from start to finish and some I’ve not even opened! Why? Who knows and maybe that is a rabbit hole I don’t want to go down. Books are a great resource and will always be my first port of call but hopefully once I have some basic skills, I will be able to use them more.
I have done some drawing classes – basic drawing, children’s book illustration, life drawing mainly. They were fun, and the social aspect is definitely worthwhile.
However, the classes haven’t really worked in getting me past the Ugly Phase and keeping me motivated. I suspect that the motivation is linked to attendance to the class and when that class ended, so did the motivation.
On-line courses have exploded during Covid and there are a lot of them out there. This rabbit hole of youtube has also highlighted how many people build an audience and then sell courses. So there is plenty out there. But I’ve never done an on-line course for drawing (but done plenty for law though). There are a few reasons why I’m not pursuing that option for the moment: many of them were quite right for me and many of them are quite expensive.
There are two key reasons for not looking at courses – the first is that there is simply so much free stuff out there for beginners. If you take the time to try and filter it, it’s a treasure trove. Also, youtube will do a lot of that work for you as it will keep suggesting videos until the end of time.
Secondly, for something like drawing, no matter how many courses you do, the fundamental fact is that you have to pick up pencil or brush and practise: that is all. Unless you have a level of talent, then learning to draw a face comes with drawing line after line on a page.
Finally, I also want to test a theory: by forging my own path, posing my own questions and finding my own answers, I think I will learn more profoundly which will then lead to a better foundation to build and sustain a drawing habit.
Once I get past the Ugly Phase, and begin the process of learning techniques in different mediums then I think courses will be more useful.